My Poem

I was 9 years old to be set free by the old and the cold
Spat Lumps and Pulled Clumps out my hair
She was so nice but I couldn't avoid the doctors gp surgery
The family practice gave me Seroxat and Risperidone in a sick plot to murder me

I grew breasts, got cravings as the medication drew me more crazy
So a dozen adults could sit on me in the cosy room padded cell to restrain me
Snot on breasts and tears on the floor
the smell of matted lilac plastic

It must be a part of the human sickness
why would god make me perfect in his own image
It's okay their disturbed children
Last time I checked god didn't poison his children

(god or nature wouldn't poison it's children)

Play in one room with mostly boys
Who just like me are ejaculating freely when they are just trying to play with their toys
A few 'unrelated' seizures it's not daily

Mum do you miss me, barely
Just a bit more hairy, humping some girls, why won't you kiss me, Or tell me you love me, It's like you don't care for me
maybe things will change if she tells me she's having my baby

signed myself out the accident and emergency quickly before
at 12years old I will not meet more that want to psychologically assess me
im just lucky to wake up from shoving packs full of pills without a thought or a care you see
it couldn't matter less to me. On these anti-deppresant drugs 'side effects' make you do it 'apathetically'

I'm 20 now with a job and a flat
I never have to look back
probably didn't notice I'm infertile
can't cum from a blowjob
in fact I can't/cannot feel a thing

at last I can sleep coz
I don't have to beat off my dick 21 million times

now my stomach hurts (unusually) too
blows up like a balloon
I'm paralyzed
I cold turkey
of 20 years of pre-pubescent
dangerous governmental medication
god doesn't poison the children

20 years sears and shocks
brain zaps, shaking over a year
the lot
ripping my body and soul apart from the core

It's been so long over a year
“your prolactin still won't go down”
“might be a brain tumour”, “I've never seen so long”

the brain zaps last over a year
I'm so anxious I realise I'll never be the same again. Theres holes in my head.

I can't feel a thing
I am uncontrollably ejaculating all over the public bus. Right through the seats
My young body weeps

now it's “hypothyroidism”
“that doesn't make any sense”

“now your normal
but crazy
all of our tests here were previously wrong”

ironically “the drugs are safe” family doctors
today sit on the same bus
reading the paper about third world female genital mutilation
with pints of their victims cum in their arse

how could you publish something so publicly embarrassing
just suffer secretly, needlessly living the rest of your life living as a shadow
of the man you should have been

Because as you read this
thousands of mad men
are openly practising psychiatry
on children in kindergarten



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